Day 61 (3/18/20). Rage Against the Dark
Journal entry: Two months have gone by since life apocalypse. I think I have healed quite a bit, but J is frustrated and dissatisfied w/ our progress. This shit has been a classic mid-life crisis affair, watch porn, have sex with an employee, lose your freaking mind... The only difference from the "average" mid-life affair is that, apparently, he really never developed feelings for her, even though his words and actions obviously made her think he did. Maybe I'm no different. This makes me question him as a person and wonder if all he ever does is go through the motions with me, too. I am struggling with anger right now. I want to hurt/ destroy CM in every way possible, physically and mentally. I know that isn't right, and I am turning to the Bible to try and keep the fruits of the spirit, rather than the sin of my flesh. The need for revenge is huge right now. It would be easy to get revenge against J by just having sex with someone...