Fragile Like a Bomb (& a Flower)

Today is day 313 post- life apocalypse and our first wedding anniversary post-infidelity (#26). I'm not sure how I feel; I keep waffling back and forth from being thankful to make it through the last 10 months together and feeling sick that I was so ignorant of what was going on a year ago when I was way too proud of our 25th anniversary.  Below is my Facebook post from this day last year.               Maybe this is completely ridiculous, but I still feel that way. We are still best friends, and this year has brought nothing if not relying on and yielding to God.  Clearly, I am still wielding my forgiveness super power, also.   Many times in the last 10 months, he has needed to dig down and bring me back from the brink of complete despondency.  I have wanted to die during this past year because I'm a baby who never expected to experience this soul-rocking, devastating event in our marriage. Our marriage was the one thing I did...

 I decided to start my first blog post with my current journal entry (~9 months post-affair revelation and about 1 year from the start of my husband's affair). Then I will go back and share my past journal entries as I have time. If you are like me, you are currently scouring the internet to find literally anyone else's experience with infidelity as you try and make sense of your own recent trauma.  This is even harder if you refuse to just pack yourself or your husband up and end things. I suggest you read my background page, if you can take all the TMI, so that these blog posts make more sense to you.   I feel like I also need to say every time that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all to me... I am committed to being raw, authentic, and as entirely stupid as I want to be; you don't have to read this. Saturday, 10/31/20 Had a great week, overall.  Got to see my [former work] people Wednesday when I went home- scratch that, to [form...